I think an important way to make progress on this issue is to talk about how sex ed in a lot of places is basically just shaming and scaring around pregnancy and STIs instead of explaining to young men and women how their own and their potential future partner bodies work how to give pleasure, how to communicate, etc. So, the way things are, way too many women and men both come to their first sexual experiences to embarrassed to talk and to ignorant to be a good partner. It unfortunately pretty common for sex to be painful for women (much more so than for men), so it not crazy for them to want a partner that has some experience.

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